Our Dreams Were Stolen by a Mouse


Sat on my arse  Wrist deep in popcorn  Watching Avengers  The moment when Thanos snapped his fingers  The tape was rewound by Disney executives  As they reeled back time 20 years again


At Disney HQ  A Walt Disney flavoured popsicle sits at the head of the Directors table  Surrounded by his Seven Dwarves  All Dopey  Who get an unpaid intern to press play on a 50-year-old tape of uncle Walt whispering  STEAL SHIT STEAL SHIT STEAL SHIT


He’s created a monster  The obese Disney company can only see a horizon of its own skin  Stretched out, it beats its own drum in a never ending four to the floor loop   And with nothing else to eat, it gags on its own elephant ears, mermaids’ tails and a fuck tonne of spotted dogs


When you drop from your mum’s splash mountain  into her nurturing arms  A glass of milk and a ride photo is served by a smiling, four fingered, waiter glove wearing mouse  whose silhouette is the Venn diagram of your world  Mum, Dad, Mickey


The milk is roffied with fairy dust  Drugging and dragging you to Neverland  We’re now lost boys in a stagnant world, where the road of time is haunted by ghosts of our childhoods  Which I thought I left in a galaxy far far away


The Circle of Life is finished  Donald Duck has found Taxidermied Mufasa in a flea market and has the defibrillator out  Not letting the Lion rest in peace, Simba watches his dad get Trampled by Wildebeest  Over  And Over  And Over


A Lion is no longer Majestic

A Lion is no longer Courage

A Lion is no longer Pride

A Lion is no Longer Dignity

A Lion is a Lion

            is a Lion

            is a Lion

            FUCK THAT

If I want to see a Lion hanging out on the Savanna, eating Zebras and banging, it’ll be Narrated by David Attenborough

I want Lions to narrate their own stories

I want Lions to be free

Free to wheelspin in a convertible coked up across Central Africa

Free to wake up in hotel rooms with strangers they promised the world last night

Free to get permanent tattoos which will be Lasered off in 15 years

Free to solve the world’s problems at 3am between mouthfuls of doner kebab

Free to cwtch up to sun kissed homeless faces and smoke fags under tungsten stars

Free to wish upon that star, without Jiminy Cricket sat on their shoulder

Do what Pinocchio did in the original story and kill the little shit

…I’m setting mouse traps tonight